


Sokka Explains Things Discreetly, And Against All Odds Nothing Explodes

by cosmogyral



Series: A Series Of Fortunate (If Inexplicable) Events [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Baccano!
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-09
Updated: 2012-03-09
Packaged: 2017-11-01 16:48:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmogyral/pseuds/cosmogyral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I picked this up as a <em>very</em> late pinch hit, and it's been a blast writing for you. I hope these misloach manot are all right and that you're having a chag sameach!</p></blockquote>





	Sokka Explains Things Discreetly, And Against All Odds Nothing Explodes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ryfkah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryfkah/gifts).



Lord Xianzu sighs when he slides the screen home, sighs again very loudly when he crosses into his private salon, and then screams like a little girl.

"It's cool, I reinforced all the walls," Toph says. She shifts into a different stance, and the tiles under her feet ripple out to him. He lets out a startled squawk. "Unless he's got really loyal Earthbending guards we're good to go."

"Awesome," Sokka says. "Hey! Don't look at us like that. We're not burglars."

Isaac raises a hand. "We are."

"We're redistributors of wealth," Miria adds. "Is that okay, Isaac?"

"It must be, Miria," Isaac says. "Otherwise why would the governor look so excited about it?"

Not that Toph knows what the governor _looks_ like, but she's pretty sure that that's the terrified trembling of his mustache she feels. --Aw, no, Sokka was right, you _can't_ trust people with mustaches. She's never gonna live this one down.

"Okay, Toph Bei Fong and I aren't burglars," Sokka says. The governor reacts to her name, and she grins at him. "We're agents of the Avatar. You know, the ones your advisor threw out of your palace before you even got an audience with us? For some reason?"

The governor sniffs. "My advisor threw you out of the palace because you were a danger to the peaceful rule of this province."

"That doesn't sound right," Toph says. "I'm pretty sure I heard you guys discussing something about troops. From Tianbei?"

All the blood drains out of his head, and like someone who's never even _heard_ of her, he tries to lie. "I've never--"

"Oh, save it," she says. "Isaac? Miria?"

"We did hear something about Tianbei as we were passing by," Isaac says, thoughtfully.

"Oh no, Isaac," Miria gasps. "They were conspiring to treason!"

"And we were right there!"

"There's no need for sarcasm," the governor interjects. She can't blame him for the wishful thinking, not when his heart is pounding like that. "I'll deny everything."

"Wow, you are so not good at plotting treason," Sokka marvels. "You know Toph can hear you when you lie, right? It's not like she's decorative."

"Hey!" she protests. "Anyway, listen, my friend here wants us to drag you back for the Fire Lord's justice. You know how he's been on rogue governors."

The governor almost swallows his tongue. "I--I have an army here already--"

"We don't have to get into the empty threats part of the evening yet. See, _I_ think it'd be way more _discreet_ ," she pauses to nod to Sokka, "if we just explained to everyone how your advisor had poisoned your mind with talk of civil war. Because he did, right? And, I mean, it's got to have been _pretty poisoned_ if you didn't know he was just gonna turn around and take your appointment."

"But it's up to you," Sokka says, eyes wide-open and earnest. "You can do whatever. I'd be happy to take you back to Capital City. You know we've got an air bison? You could be there in a week tops."

The pause is so long Toph almost makes up her mind to go with the plan where they tear down the whole place. She's started waiting for her time when Xianzu finally says, "I think a change of cabinet is in order."

Sokka beams at him. "Good call. And what are we going to do to our Earth Kingdom subjects?"

"I know this one!" Isaac says. "Much less oppression."

Miria echoes, " _Way less._ "

They high-five.

"In the face of such a recommendation," Xianzu says, "what can I do but accede?"

*

Outside the gates of the palace, they bid farewell to the traveling... whatever, and Sokka whistles for Appa. As they wait for him to touch down Toph says, "How long before you think we need to come back?"

"Um," Sokka says, feeling the inside of his tunic. "Actually, maybe not too long."

"How come?"

Sokka produces his empty purse. "We miiiiight have to replace a couple of things. I think Isaac and Miria might have been, um--well--okay, laugh it up! Laugh all you want! At least they didn't have mustaches!"

Actually Toph doesn't stop until they're halfway over Ba Sing Se. That's when she realizes they took her comb.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I picked this up as a _very_ late pinch hit, and it's been a blast writing for you. I hope these misloach manot are all right and that you're having a chag sameach!


End file.
